Who are the Bystanders in the Workplace?
You overhear a conversation in the busy breakroom as you refill your coffee cup. Your coworker, Taylor, is talking up next weekend’s plans with a few office friends, and they really want Morgan, the newest member of the team, to come along. You hear Taylor, a charismatic, fun-loving, long-time employee say things like “you have to come...it’ll be a great way to learn the ropes;” “I’d love to see you let loose;” “I promise I’ll show you a good time.” You notice out of the corner of your eye that Taylor keeps moving closer to Morgan, who looks increasingly uncomfortable. Taylor puts a hand on Morgan’s shoulder.
The exchange leaves you cringing, but what do you do? In the moment, chances are the answer is “nothing.” And what about colleagues eating lunch, or the pair chatting beside the vending machine, or the employee restocking the paper towels? All may do nothing. Evidence shows us the more people who witness situations like this, the less likely anyone is to intervene. That’s called the bystander effect.
There are many reasons we find it easier to look the other way, as documented in social science research. We’ve been taught to mind our own business, we don’t want to offend or embarrass anyone, we don’t know what to say, and we certainly don’t want to draw negative attention to ourselves.
No matter why we may look away, this all can create an environment that tolerates or even encourages more harmful behaviors. It shapes what is believed to be acceptable, and it keeps those harmed largely silent. Helping people gain the skills and confidence to take action along a continuum of inappropriate behaviors is essential for creating a safe, respectful, thriving workplace culture that we all want to be a part of...and it’s all of our responsibility to get there.
Enter prosocial, active bystanders.
At Soteria Solutions, our research has proven that with training and skill-building exercises, individuals can be taught to recognize more subtle problematic behaviors. The goal is to have employees flex their muscle memory in the moment and respond in a way that feels most comfortable. The more people ready, willing, and able to do so, the better!
So what could all of those bystanders in the breakroom have done in the situation?
The pair chatting by the vending machine could check in with each other to see if what they’re noticing seems off. “Look at how uncomfortable Morgan looks right now! What do you think?” In agreement, the pair decides to “butt in” on their conversation, diffusing the tension and creating some space to allow Morgan to leave the room.
Perhaps one of your colleagues, a friend of Taylor’s, also notices. They decide to make a joke about Taylor’s “game,” ending with “it doesn’t look like Morgan is interested. Now come listen to what happened at my house this week...” This distraction gently calls out the behavior and then moves on.
The employee restocking the paper towels also hears the cringeworthy conversation, and, after Taylor heads out of the break room, they decide to check in with Morgan. “You seemed really uncomfortable. Are you ok? That was really not appropriate.” Even if you miss the very moment something inappropriate happens, don’t underestimate how much it can mean to the person on the receiving end to have others recognize and validate their experience.
Harassment in the workplace isn’t just a “personal issue,” it also impacts performance, attendance, and engagement - both for the person being harassed and those who witness it. What might someone who didn’t even observe the interaction notice?
After a few days of Morgan seeming distracted and disengaged during team meetings, mostly staying isolated and even eating lunch away from colleagues, Morgan’s boss asks for a quick check in before they leave for the day. “Morgan, it seemed like you were settling into the team really well, but something has seemed off lately. Did something happen?” Supportive leaders are willing to listen, take employees’ concerns seriously, and take action when necessary.
Now it’s back to you. It takes courage to speak up, but when you see something that makes you uncomfortable, don’t pass up the opportunity to address it. At Soteria, we teach workplaces the necessary skills to use in both common and industry-specific scenarios, creating healthy culture change and happy employees.
By Michelle Bangen, MPH
Michelle Bangen is a Project Development Specialist for Soteria Solutions as well as co-Founder of Incite Agency for Change.